I blasted the theme from Rocky today.
I am done! I went the distance.
But sadly, I didn't get to punch anyone in the face.
Today was my last day of work. I felt relieved, elated, and at the same time, depressed. I question my abilities as a teacher. Did I do more harm than good? Did I inspire or make someone hate art even more? Because my head wasn't screwed on straight this year (being pregnant and then having a newborn and many factors related to that), I know I could have done better. I felt so overwhelmed.
It wasn't overwhelmed with the "okay, let's fix this," response. It was literally, "I'm so overwhelmed, I am paralyzed" type of feeling. While dealing with that, I felt like I was driving down a curvy bumpy dirt road with no power steering.
Chris is relating my questioning of myself and my feelings as a cross between a mid-life crisis and being clinically depressed. I don't exactly see it as simple as that. There are a lot of questions and doubt in my mind of how I should further pursue the art/career thing in the future.
But in the meantime, I am done. I am home for children this summer and AleXander for at least the next year or so. After all, he's only a baby once.