Friday, May 20, 2011

Going the Distance

I blasted the theme from Rocky today.

I am done! I went the distance.

But sadly, I didn't get to punch anyone in the face.

Today was my last day of work. I felt relieved, elated, and at the same time, depressed. I question my abilities as a teacher. Did I do more harm than good? Did I inspire or make someone hate art even more? Because my head wasn't screwed on straight this year (being pregnant and then having a newborn and many factors related to that), I know I could have done better. I felt so overwhelmed.

It wasn't overwhelmed with the "okay, let's fix this," response. It was literally, "I'm so overwhelmed, I am paralyzed" type of feeling. While dealing with that, I felt like I was driving down a curvy bumpy dirt road with no power steering.
Chris is relating my questioning of myself and my feelings as a cross between a mid-life crisis and being clinically depressed. I don't exactly see it as simple as that. There are a lot of questions and doubt in my mind of how I should further pursue the art/career thing in the future.

But in the meantime, I am done. I am home for children this summer and AleXander for at least the next year or so. After all, he's only a baby once.

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