It's complicated. The stress, worry and heartbreaks that come with life is weighing down on me. After all, life still goes on despite the climb to the ultimate goal. It doesn't take a hiatus.
The tears are like a deluge or in some cases, they may even just hang there like virga and fail to materialize into tears, but they're still building up in the thunderclouds behind the eyes.
I will say, there are a few things that have helped. They may seem like nothing in the grand scheme of things, but in the day to day anvil that seems to set up camp on my chest and head, it's a big deal. These are like the umbrellas to carry despite the heavy winds and rain in the storm.
- A Groupon for a couple's massage that I found. Sure, we'll have to drive over 60 miles, but it's worth it.
- Hanging out with an old art friend from high school for about an hour last week. That was also a drive, but again, totally worth it. And considering he had driven across four or five states to visit his family in Gilbert, our little drive to meet him briefly in Tempe was nothing. We met his nice well behaved kids and wife, while they got to meet my crew who were on a work release from the zoo. If you don't believe me watch this video of Alexander a couple of hours earlier when we were driving out to pick up Chris from work.
|6/4/15 Alexander and I pictured with Daron and one of his "mini-me's"|
|With two of Daron's five mini-me's...euw, nice hair, Jill.|
- And holding another friend's baby once we did pick up Chris from work. I had been wanting to cuddle this bug for a couple of weeks now. I did not want to let her go.
|Earlier on 6/4/15...cuddling little Macy...a different friend's 'mini-me'|
-Rare, cloudy June days like this one. If it's going to be summer in hell, blocking out the sun is the best we can hope for.
-This funky light for the new house's laundry room (below). I know it's a material thing, but it's in a room that represents life's tedious tasks. It helps to make it a room that is desirable to enter and not the worst place to spend our time.
|May 2015 ...From a far distance helps with the picture quality...especially for a crusty 40 year old...|
|Alexander calls this my 'lazy' picture...|
In the meantime, I need to be more diligent with prayer. It does make a huge difference. I just have to improve upon making it more of a habit. I also want my daughter Mikelle to know, if she reads this (or if she ever reads this) how important the presence of God is in my life and in our lives. It's not just something I "believe". It's something I know with every fiber of my being. I know Mikelle that He is ever present in your life and there for you. Please know of Him and go to Him.
Until next time.